1. Listen to understand, not to reply. The best negotiators are great listeners. They pay attention to what the other person is saying, both verbally and nonverbally. They also ask questions to clarify what the other person is thinking and feeling.
2. Build rapport. Negotiating is a human interaction, so it’s important to build rapport with the other person. This means being respectful, understanding, and empathetic. It also means finding common ground and building trust.
3. Understand the other person’s needs. What are they trying to achieve in the negotiation? What are their priorities? Once you understand their needs, you can start to see the negotiation from their perspective.
4. Be creative. There is no one right way to negotiate. The best negotiators are flexible and willing to think outside the box. They are also willing to walk away from a negotiation if they are not getting what they want.
5. Be persistent. Negotiating can be tough, but it’s important to be persistent. Don’t give up easily. Keep trying different approaches until you reach an agreement that works for everyone involved.
6. Use the CALM acronym:
o Clarify: Make sure you understand what the other person is saying.
o Agree: Find areas where you can agree.
o Listen: Pay attention to what the other person is saying, both verbally and nonverbally.
o Mirror: Reflect back what the other person is saying to show that you are listening.
7. Use the 5 Whys technique: Ask “Why?” five times to get to the root of the issue.
8. Use silence: Silence can be a powerful tool in negotiation. It can give you time to think, or it can put pressure on the other person to speak.
9. Be patient: Negotiation takes time. Don’t expect to reach an agreement overnight.
10. Trust your gut: Sometimes, you just have to go with your gut feeling. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.
These are just a few of the lessons from Never Split the Difference. The book is full of practical advice that can be used in any negotiation, from buying a car to negotiating a salary.